What happened

1.  I was adopted at three months.  My adoptive parents were religious fanatics: parochial school teachers.  Imagine being raised by nuns.

2.  I was not good at being a child, my mother said over and over.  I was a worried old lady in a four-year-old body.

3.  At four, I slept on the floor next to my parents’ bed when I had nightmares because I couldn’t disturb them.

4.  At six, we moved 250 miles northeast and I lost my little world.

5.  Learned about being sinful and worthless.

6.  From 5 to 9 I was forced to go home to have lunch with my mother rather than at school with my friends.

7.  At 9 I was shamed for getting the lead in the school play.

8.  The family had wonderful month-long camping trips in the summer.

9.  At ten, we moved 1200 miles east and I lost my world again.

10.  From 11 through 13, I was bullied at school.  My father was my teacher and principal, but he watched without comment.   

11. While bullied, I began to have out of body experiences and hallucinations.

12.  At 14 I went to public school, and got molested by three different guys.

13.  For a year, I didn’t remember being molested.

14.  At 15, I had remembered molestations and had hallucinations when I remembered what happened the previous year.  I tried to jump out of a window at school.

15.  My parents thought I had sinned willingly with the men, and I had tried to jump from the window from guilt.

16.  At 16, we moved 1,000 miles back west, and my world was destroyed.

17.  My parents worked very long days and we rarely saw them.  I was marooned in the country with no friends or or anything to do.    

18.  At 18 I went to bible college.

19.  Parents cut off contact with me at school, and voices started in my head.